“DAD. A son’s first hero. A daughter’s first love”- Anonymous
“MOTHER. You will be her first role model, Her first best friend, Her first love”-Vicki Reece
Is it true for everyone ? I received a call from one of good friend yesterday. Pratibha, please come to my house immediately, Dipti (name changed) said sobbingly. Is everything alright ? Please don’t ask any question, just come fast. Ok, I will be there in an hour.
A red suitcase was lying on her bed, with clothes all around it. A pile of her books,makeups and family photographs placed near the suitcase. I looked around to find her sitting near the window. Her eyes were red with tears flowing down her cheeks.
I walked slowly towards her and asked , what happened ? are you going anywhere ? Yes, I am leaving the house tonight, Dipti replied. Leaving as in ? I am leaving the house forever. I cannot stay here anymore.
Lost & depressed, she continued. You know Pratibha everyone in my family is blaming me for leaving and running away from the situation. They want me to be strong and face the situation boldly. Even, I am guilty of leaving my mother at this stage, but I just cannot help it. If, I will stay even for a single day, I will go mad. You know, at times I feel, my mind has stopped working.
But why ? What has happened ? You have this perfect family, a booming career and everything else a girl can ask for. Then why ?
Perfect Family !!! What we see is not the truth always. No body knows, what’s going on behind the closed doors.
Please stop playing with your words and tell me what’s wrong ? She burst into tears. Pratibha, this has been my secret but I have seen my dad beating my mother many a times in last 9 years. I am tired of it all now and cannot take it anymore. A part of me dying a bit everyday being here witnessing it.
I understand you Dipti, I told to break the silence between us. We will figure something out, leaving home is not the solution of the problem.
She got furious, you understand ?? No you don’t understand. I love her, she is my mother but living with her is harder than one can think it is. You don’t know how to react to her constant complaints and nagging. You don’t know how to handle her panic attacks. You don’t have the patience to listen how life has been so unfair to her all the time. You love her but don’t want to spend time with her. You both always end up getting arguments. It’s hard for you to respect her for her weaknesses. You can’t share your thoughts and feelings with her as she is already full of her complain. You miss her when she is gone but the moments she comes, you start to feel irritated and helpless. You try best to help and protect her but at the end it all seems useless.
You are saying to me you understand, how it is to live with my father under the same room knowing all this ? It’s like,You love and hate him at the same time. Once, he is your role model and a perfect dad, who has given you the wings to fly high and conquer your dreams. At another moment, he is a monster, who beats your mother ruthlessly.You appreciate him as your father. But when you portray him as your mother’s husband, you don’t even feel like calling him you dad. You hate yourself for loving him. You feel like, you are supporting a criminal in his deed. No one can understand, how helpless I feel at times.
I totally understand you but there should be something that you could do to change it.
There is nothing , I could do to change it Pratibha. Instead, In trying to help them and figure out their life, I have lost the direction of mine. What do you think, is it the story of my life only ? There must be thousand of children out there facing the same problem everyday.
The problem with our society is that we don’t share such things. I feel, our life has become so fake. We fake being a happy family, a happy individual and the list goes on. I don’t understand why we judge and label a person, when one shares their depression, anger , frustration, family problems & weaknesses. We all are vulnerable Pratibha and do u believe, we have created a space out there to share our vulnerability ?
Ok, you are telling me to find the solution right. Now you tell me what is the solution ? What should I do now ? Should I stay back or leave ?
I was numb. After few minutes, I told Dipti, I don’t have an answer right now. Let’s meet tomorrow and we will talk. For the time being, please stay back for my sake. You know, there are times in life when you just need to hold yourself up and carry on. Trust me, everything will be fine. I want you to remember that, I love you a lot and will always be there with you holding your back.
We had our dinner together. I cleaned her bed. Tears flew down my cheeks as our eyes met for the last time. I placed a goodbye kiss on her forehead,while turning off the light of her room with a promise to see her again tomorrow.
Walking back, I was thinking of her questions ? What can she do ? What could be the solution ?
What do u think is the solution ?